My Ectopic Pregnancy...

I had been feeling off for close to a month now. I went to a GP (not my regular one) and she carried out a blood test. The results came back and all she concluded was my iron levels were low.

Fast forward 5 days after seeing the GP.. it was a normal day at home besides the dull ache I had sitting in my stomach, that had been there for a few weeks now. I was speaking about feeling like something just wasn't right on my Instagram stories that morning... Telling you all how I didn't feel right and that I was considering booking in with a naturopath. Literally 10 minutes after I filmed those clips on my Instagram, I had a random gush of blood. Something I had never encountered before and to be honest, it scared the crap out of me. So I quickly rang the GP that I usually go to but she was fully booked for the next two days. So I made the decision to drop the kids off at mum's house and drive myself to hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital on Thursday, they did my bloods again and came back within an hour or so to tell me that I was in fact pregnant. This in itself was a complete shock because we were not actively trying to conceive. My mind went into overdrive with a thousand emotions and feelings at once. Excitement, worry, confusion, anxiousness... to name just a few. After all, I had been bleeding and my stomach had been sore for a few weeks by now so I knew something wasn't right.

After being transferred to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit at the Mater Mothers Hospital, I was told it looked like I was possibly experiencing a miscarriage and I'd need to come back in the following day to get an internal scan to see for sure what was going on as they also couldn't rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

So I went back in for an internal scan at 9:30 am Friday morning. About an hour later the doctor confirmed that I was in fact experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. Not only was I experiencing an ectopic pregnancy... it had grown quite large and medication was probably not going to dissolve it so emergency surgery was my best and safest option. Typically a fallopian tube is around 0.5-1 cm wide... the ectopic pregnancy was measuring at 4 cm wide so the doctors were concerned that my tube could rupture at any given moment and had the potential to make me very, very ill.

Safe to say this was a HUGE shock and my first concern was my chance of ever falling pregnant should we want to try for a 3rd baby. I had multiple discussions about this with the doctors and they assured me that having only one fallopian tube very rarely causes any problems with women's fertility and the ability to have a baby. So with that being said, I decided to go ahead with the procedure to remove my fallopian tube and the ectopic pregnancy.

Waking up from surgery was strange. Knowing that I had once had a tiny little fertilised egg inside me, trying to grow into a precious little baby that had now been removed, makes me sad. I know that technically it wasn't a baby yet.. but I still feel like that little egg was one of my babies. I still feel sorry that it had to be cut out of my body just because it didn't land in the place it was meant to. Why my body didn't do what it was meant to and carry my future baby to it's safe little home.

I'm choosing to talk about my pain & tell you my story because I feel it will help me. By writing down what I have been through I hope to try and start to process it all... and I can only hope that maybe it will help another woman who has or maybe one day will experience the same thing and make her feel not so alone.

I want to take the time also to thank you all for your kind words and support through this hard time. I will be ok. I will heal & start to feel normal again. But for now.. I am just here, with my sore belly, dreaming of what that baby would have been like had it had the change to grow... x

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